Learning to Lead Together/Faithful Family Lives

This preaching event brought together 8 Muslim and 10 Christian preachers, it included Anglicans, Methodists, United Reformed, Catholic and a range of Muslims. As far as we know, this is the very first event of its kind in the history of Christianity and Islam.  'Learning to Lead Together' should appeal to both Muslims and Christians who preach in multi-faith communities, but also to preachers and individuals of both faiths in their interaction with the secular, and largely agnostic world in which we are living today.

 

Paul Johns, College of Preachers

 

This gathering lasted only 24 hours but we managed to pack a great deal in.  We found we have much in common when it comes to preaching.  But there are very real differences between us, particularly in how we regard God's Word - for Muslims it is text, for Christians it is Jesus. We did not gloss over these.  Instead, we found that 'dialogue without dilution' is not only possible but essential.

'Dialogue without dilution' contains a paradox, for some a threatening paradox.  How can you honestly enter into dialogue with someone else unless you are willing to allow your mind to be changed through it?  If you don't allow this possibility then it is not dialogue. Yet, if you admit the possibility of your mind being changed, are you allowing your faith in the things you hold dear to be undermined? For some dialogue is a slippery slope. That is why they are averse to it and avoid it.  Sadly, some project their aversion onto people of the other faith by saying that they are not interested in dialogue, only in the extension of their faith.  Surely Christians and Muslims are the same in this respect?  There is no escape from the paradox, but this event showed me that we should not seek to escape. The event confirmed what I have discovered over several years of talking to and working alongside Muslims, in this country, and in Bosnia and in Iraq: dialogue can help you to understand and respect others' beliefs and clarify and strengthen your own convictions.

We preachers have a special responsibility, we are communicators. We have a special responsibility to address the paradox, and live a life of dialogue without dilution; to affirm our faiths with all our conviction, and call those to whom we speak in our own communities to enter into the adventure of dialogue. I am so pleased that we met and agreed to go on sharing experiences and encouraging others to join us at further gatherings.  I am very grateful to the Christian Muslim Forum for making all this possible.

This was our first national event on challenges to the family in today's society, on this occasion thirty Muslims and Christians came together. 'Living Faithful Family Lives' is relevant to parents, MPs and councillors, civil servants and local government officers concerned with policies touching family and community life, and those working in the education, social care and criminal justice as well as members of faith communities in their encounter with relatives, friends and neighbours.

 

Heather al-Yusuf, Christian Muslim Forum Family Specialist

What really struck me was how Muslims and Christians from a variety of backgrounds and traditions came together to talk about the family and its problems in our society, as people of different faiths, and with a great deal of honesty and sense of shared purpose. This was partly to do with the context of a Christian Muslim Forum event where Christians and Muslims are equally involved: the culture of trust and goodwill made it possible for us to be honest and share in problem-solving with each other. This trust was all the more important when the conversation of the weekend linked two topics that are so sensitive to us all: our faith and our family.

It can seem that conflicts and fears around Muslim and Christian religious identities are aired in the news on a daily basis. Perhaps it is not surprising many end up feeling defensive about their beliefs, communities and, above all, our families and ways of life.  Underlying these fears is a need to preserve, protect and pass on to the next generation the meanings and values we most cherish.   It can be very hard for Muslims and Christians to talk openly about what may be going wrong for some families, and risk exposing their private worlds to criticism from outsiders.

 
The two key note speakers set a pragmatic and realistic agenda: reminding us just how far from the ideals of either faith is the experience of children growing up in our society, whether through pressures of marital and family breakdown or poor communication and violence, or the effects of aggressive consumerism and social fragmentation. Sometimes, faith is treated as part of the problem, as in 'if only families would let go of their ancient myths and practices' all would become 'enlightened and modern'.  Both speakers showed this is simplistic and fails to address the reality of how we function, and how our values and meaning works.

When 'things go wrong', in families of both traditions, engaging at the level of beliefs and values is a crucial part of identifying what has gone wrong and in alleviating it.  Meanwhile the resilience that enables families to cope with and survive crisis depends on their tools for making sense of what happens.  This is where our understandings of who we are in terms of faith and community comes in, and where religious communities have such an important responsibility.  There has never been a time when it is of such importance for many more of us to expand our opportunities and language to listen and speak to each other safely. Many families are in crisis, so it is important that we put the issue of the family where it belongs: at the heart of the conversation between people of faith and people of goodwill.  As the conference showed, the Christian Muslim Forum is quietly developing this kind of work in the context of mutual goodwill and strong hospitable ethics.

Read the full report of both events here.